Albert Brooks Will Do Anything for Success in ‘A Star Is Bought’

100 Funniest Comedy Albums Book Excerpt

Frank Mastropolo

Asylum

Albert Brooks is known today as an actor, director, and screenwriter, but in the early 1970s, he was a stand-up comedian. Brooks recorded two comedy albums, 1973’s Comedy Minus One and 1975’s A Star Is Bought, which was nominated for a Grammy Award for Best Comedy Recording.

A Star Is Bought was written and produced by Brooks and Harry Shearer. Brooks, according to the album’s scenario, wants to become a crossover recording star, appealing to as many different music fans as possible.

Disc jockey Charlie Van Dyke prepares the listener for what’s coming up.

In all the years that recording artists have been trying to get on the charts, those elusive indexes of what’s selling, nobody ever did what comedian Albert Brooks has done.He’s assembled an album completely composed of cuts individually designed for different kinds of radio stations. In the next hour, we’ll not only find out how this record came to be made, we’ll actually hear it.

With the help of stars like Alice Cooper, Micky Dolenz, and Linda Ronstadt, Brooks parodies radio genres from progressive rock to classical.

“Phone Call to Americans,” intended for country music stations, parodies patriotic spoken-word records like Victor Lundberg’s “An Open Letter to My Teenage Son.”

Where has it all led? To hamburgers, French fries, and a malted? To go, my country? Why can’t we eat it here? There was a time when Mother’s Day was a whole week in July. What happened, gals? America can put a man on the moon, but we still forget our trash day. Today, we have golden arches, but our feet still hurt. We play “The Star-Spangled Banner” at ballgames, but still, one team always loses. We check into hotels, but hotels won’t take our checks. Well, they won’t take mine! Angry? You bet I’m angry!

Brooks reveals previously unknown lyrics to Ravel’s “Bolero” that suggest it is about a one-night stand:

Do you like children? You do? Well, guess what, my dear? You’ll be getting none from me. I’ve undergone some surgery. There’ll be no pregnancy here. I’m about as potent as a warm glass of beer

“The Albert Brooks Show #112 (August 4, 1943)” is a “lost episode” of nostalgia radio. Like Jack Benny, Brooks plays the star of a show within a show. Its characters include his secretary Gladys, who writes fan mail to Brooks because “somebody has to do it.”

Edgar, Brooks’ lawyer, informs the star that he is being sued for slander for remarks made on last week’s show. “Last week’s show?” asks Brooks. “What did I say?”

“You said he wrote it,” answers Edgar.

The front cover of the album has four little triangles glued to it to simulate a photo album. Inside is a promotional “autographed” photo of Brooks with instructions to insert the photo into the cover, which becomes a frame.

The back cover has a die-cut stand that unfolds, allowing you to display the photo on your shelf, piano, or mantel.

Frank Mastropolo is the author of 100 Funniest Comedy Albums: Comedy’s Greatest Stand-Up Performances, part of the Greatest Performances series. For more on our latest projects, visit Edgar Street Books.